I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
