i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
