dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All the doctor said was why
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
