i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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