There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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