You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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