Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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