Fine. I'll sleep in my office
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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