Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
