I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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