I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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