So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
