Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
