Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
