Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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