The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
