Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
