the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
