How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
