Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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