Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
