You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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