i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I still have a little drunk in my system
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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