is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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