your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
