so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
