i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
