You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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