turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
