well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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