Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I skipped work to stalk him.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
