It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it's like iHOP with fire
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
