There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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