So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
