i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
