while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
