Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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