yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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