problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
