So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
