Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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