Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
