Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
