I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
