awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
