cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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