We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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