My liver just broke up with me...
Buhtt sex?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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