Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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