What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
