one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
