Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
