she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
