He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My pussy is not your playground.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
