I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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